However, I am presented with a quandary by this little boost to my ego:
Because, you know, if people might possibly be voting for me as the female blogger they would most like to do sticky body parts stuff with in a very prestigious and entirely serious blog awards, there are a couple of things I would like to point out first. Which kind of seems like talking about sex. On this blog here. (Mum, if you're still reading could you just click away to somewhere else, this is all going to be decidedly too much information for you.)
You see, the thing is, you could vote for me, but I just feel it's fair to let you know first:
1) You may want to have sexual intercourse with me on the basis of reading my inane witterings, but I will very probably not want to have it with you in return. Sorry. It's nothing personal, just that I've always worked on a highly whimsical crush-matrix based in part on the way people smell and a certain capacity to be extremely expressive and comical with facial expressions.
2) Even if you did want to have sex with me and I wanted to have sex with you right back, it's got to be at least 5000/1 against that ever actually taking place. Yeaaaahhhh, a boring old monogamist is pretty much what I am. How very 20th century of me, I know.
3) Even if you wanted to have sex with me, I wanted to have sex with you, and some bizarre sequence of events led to this happening, in real life, you would be SORELY disappointed. Honestly, you would. I am possibly the world's most selfish and lazy lover.
5 comments:
* poke *
Silly Steph. It's just a bit of fun. Nobody expects anybody to ACTUALLY have sex with anybody as a result of this (well, apart possibly from your other half might expect a thank-you shag for voting for you).
(actually, the main reason for including the female category was an excuse to include the male category, for two nefarious purposes. One was to nominate James Graham, for smarming-for-awards reasons, and the other was to make Mat blush, because I know half the world fancies him, but he won't believe me)
And I wrote this mainly so Rich would see it and laugh, which he did. So that's alright! I do find my sense of humour difficult to get across accurately in any text-based medium, though. It mainly consists of taking things completely out of context and deliberately missing the point in a faux-deadpan sort of way. It works much better in person, and even then not with everyone. Ah well.
Well, the voting post is up, so you can now go and vote for Rich and he can vote for you ;)
go get him girl!
stephanie will get her man, i know she will
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